Monday, October 31, 2011

23 weeks.

i think i have been trying to stack things too high.  i have been, little by little, trying to incorporate things into my schedule that i believe need to get done.  and in reality there is really very little that i NEED to do.  and so, this week, i am going to be stripping down my work week (again) and doing as little as i can.  last week was really rough on me, physically and mentally, and i don't want to do that.  i don't want to be a looney mom, who always has a headache, or back ache, or needs a nap.  so, if i get to it, i get to it.  if not, then hopefully when the Queen stops by (har har) i will find the time to change the hand towel, and make sure the soap dispenser isn't all goopey.   other than that, it doesn't really matter.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

a prairie home companion...

i have always tried to be a strong woman.  the kind that doesn't mind work or walking in the mud.  i have tried to hold onto the image of the women that walked with the wagon trains to oregon, or helped their families work the land when times were a lot more tough.

but today was the kind of day that would send a proper homesteader back to bed.  i am sure if i lived back then, my day would've gone something like this...

woke up to the hog being eat by coyotes, and the cow is now dry.  where ever the chickens are laying, it isn't in the box - no eggs.  found the lard was rancid, and i burned the biscuits.  still no rain, and can't water the crops, except for the shriveled up house garden that the bugs seemed to be getting more of than us anyway.  since nothing can be done til tomorrow, i am going to have a nice big cry, then i am going to eat the last piece of peppermint candy i have, and go to sleep.  tomorrow will look better after a good rest to my soul.  i pray that God will give me the strength to keep on.

and so that is what i plan on doing.  i have had a nice big cry, and i am going to have something nice and cold to drink, and i am going to pray that i can get through this.  i know it seems so big and daunting, and horrible and lonely, and it is. but it is also big and wonderful and lovely and beautiful, and together, my and my chickens will get to the other side, especially the one that hasn't hatched yet...

Monday, October 24, 2011

i think i can (22 weeks)

my last couple of tasks that i have given myself have gone over pretty well.  i am keeping up with my chores (when i want/NEED to), and i have been taking time for myself (although not as much as i need).  this week my goal is simple... i think...

this week i am going to take care of my feet.  not to make them sound uber disgusting, or that they need some special attention because they are sooooo gross, i just want to make them look nice for the sake of looking nice.  so i am going to take some time for a home pedicure.

i have never really been one to frequent nail salons, in fact i have been 3 times in my life.  the first time i went, they cut my finger.  the second time i went, i went full tilt and went to an organic spa that autoclaved the tools they used, opened them in front of you, and sent me home with all the nail files, and orange sticks they used.  the third time i went, my girlfriends and i went as a group, and snuck in mixed drinks, and laughed at how the massage chairs were making Kristi look lewd.  but all the three times, before i went i made sure to cut and clean my own nails.  they filed them and made them look nice, but i did the cutting.  i am strange like that.  i like the fact that i am the only one responsible for keeping my nails short and clean and bacteria free.  (just looking at my cuticles can tell you i am a frequent hand washer.)  i also like that throughout all my pregnancies i have been the one to cut my toenails.  (as i write this my darling DragonBall is bipping with hiccups.)  it's kind of a challenge, and maybe they don't get done all at the same time, but it is my own personal yoga.  it keeps me limber and makes me breathe slow, and concentrate.  and this is one thing i need... to breathe slow, and concentrate on the task before me.

some updates...

shopping...

the outlets were both fun and agonizing.  we got some great deals for the kids, and some wintery type outfits for the wee Dragon Ball.  my plan of action so i didn't eat the kids and the kids didn't eat me, was to shop until we found something more appetizing than each other.

there were frozen bananas...

Frozen banana make kids bananas

and pretzels...

Pretzel time!

and we ended with Ben & Jerry's (no spoons required).

Who needs a spoon?

i would definitely do it again, but i would go a bit earlier, and try and eat something heartier before we got there.

regarding my mom's christmas present, i think i might actually have it done by then!  woo hoo!  crocheting it is hard on my hands so i can't work on it for long, but little by little i am getting there, and i know when she opens the box she's going to be like LSP... all "OH. MY. GLOB!  this is the BEST. THING. EVAR!!!"  too bad i won't be there.

and as far as crochet goes... my lovely new interweb friend Ellen Bloom has gifted me with some beautiful cotton yarn.  i am going to wait until i talk with my hubs and find out where we are moving to, until i decide what to make with it.  i am hoping somewhere warm, and i can whip up a little light shawlette or something.  we shall see.

btw, if you love L.A. as much as i do, and you miss the food and color and everything, you really should give Ellen's blog a go.  it's lovely.

New yarn!  Yay!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

yesterday i made cookies... and brownies... and a pineapple upside down cake.  yesterday i ate those cookies, and brownies, and cakes.  today is going to be different though...  today, i am going to sort some laundry and get it going, and read the newspaper, and drink some coffee... while i eat cookies, and brownies, and cake.

!!!

on a side note, jake has become so obsessed with Gumby (yes Gumby) that he has taken to calling Liz "Minga".  i think it's cute.  i hope it sticks, and even when they get old he will call her "Minga" and that will be his special name for her.

Monday, October 17, 2011

one more thing to do

my mom's christmas present is made up of several things crammed together in a box... i am making an effort this week to finish at least 10 of those things... each one takes about 10 minutes so it shouldn't be too hard to squeeze that in.

i'll let you know how it goes.

i think i can... (21 weeks)

so i am 21 weeks pregnant...  and i am a sometimes single mom...  there is a lot of things to do, a lot of hugs to give, and a lot of toes to make line up.  there is also not so much time to get that all done.  i have figured out that i can have it two ways... i can have a nice and clean and picked up house, and home made meals every day, but with that comes short temper and hurt feelings, or i can have an ok house, and take out, and be able to sit and watch cartoons with my kids, and everyone can go to bed feeling good about themselves. i am consciously choosing the latter.  and so if that means that the hand towels don't get changed every couple of days, or maybe we have pizza more than one night a week, that is ok.  i am not going to feel bad.  as much as my kids deserve to have a square meal, they also deserve to have a happy mom.

for this week, as well as keeping up on my chores,  i am making an effort to have a half an hour to myself.  for a half an hour the tv can babysit.  and i am going to have a shower and read... or look at a magazine and have a snack, or just lay down.  a half an hour can do a lot in improving my outlook on life, and i am going to take it.  it is what i deserve.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

beyond the beyond...

today i am going out with the kids... the farthest (by car) that i have ever been with them, by myself.  it isn't to the most glamorous place (the outlet mall) but i think it may help me put things in perspective, and help be less uptight.  or it might throw me over the edge, and send me screaming to the nearest historic village to become their local mad person... updates to follow...

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

i think i can...

some things i am trying this week...

1. to actually stay on top of my chores...  not necessarily on the day that they should be done, but just that they get done... my house looks... well... not good.

2.  a menu.  i planned a menu of seven things to eat for dinner... again they can be moved around, for which ever day i feel like, as long as we eat those seven things.

3.  to not lose my shit.  lately i feel like the wee dragon ball has turned me into a giant dragon lady.  i go from ok to batshit crazy mad in the blink of an eye.  i have a feeling that some of it is because my house is dirty and i don't know what to cook...

i am going to try my best, which right now, isn't setting the bar very high...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

a thought on Hiccups...

i always hear on the news or science shows that no one really knows what hiccups are for.  i have a theory.  i think that hiccuping is a way that babies, in utero, exercise their lungs, and get them ready to breath air.  i think that it is normal and good for them to hiccup and i always feel better once the little steady bip-bip-bip begins...  hiccups in adults, however, have no purpose, and are just an excuse to swallow a spoon of sugar or some pixie stix.

on another note, the little movements of dragon ball are becoming more noticeable, and i believe that within the next week or so, the other littles in the house should be able to feel them.

OH DRAGON BALL!  I can not believe you are almost halfway done cooking...