i have always tried to be a strong woman. the kind that doesn't mind work or walking in the mud. i have tried to hold onto the image of the women that walked with the wagon trains to oregon, or helped their families work the land when times were a lot more tough.
but today was the kind of day that would send a proper homesteader back to bed. i am sure if i lived back then, my day would've gone something like this...
woke up to the hog being eat by coyotes, and the cow is now dry. where ever the chickens are laying, it isn't in the box - no eggs. found the lard was rancid, and i burned the biscuits. still no rain, and can't water the crops, except for the shriveled up house garden that the bugs seemed to be getting more of than us anyway. since nothing can be done til tomorrow, i am going to have a nice big cry, then i am going to eat the last piece of peppermint candy i have, and go to sleep. tomorrow will look better after a good rest to my soul. i pray that God will give me the strength to keep on.
and so that is what i plan on doing. i have had a nice big cry, and i am going to have something nice and cold to drink, and i am going to pray that i can get through this. i know it seems so big and daunting, and horrible and lonely, and it is. but it is also big and wonderful and lovely and beautiful, and together, my and my chickens will get to the other side, especially the one that hasn't hatched yet...
1 comment:
You'll get through this. you are an amazing mother and you have awesome kids. It's so hard to not dwell on the negative I know. You have 2 daughters who are going to grow to be amazing strong women because of the example that you are setting for them! When your children are grown they will appreciate all that you have done for them all by yourself and marvel at how well you have done. Some day he will be home with you to give you the breaks that you need and you this will all be a memory:) Much love to you.
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