Tuesday, January 11, 2011

sometimes, i miss living in Hawaii.  Especially now, that I live in Virginia, I miss living in Hawaii.  I can't tell you exactly what I miss about it, though.  I mean, yeah, it was always summer (although i could be caught wearing a wool sweater in November), and the people are friendly, and the food is delicious, but I can't help feeling there is more to it than that.

More and more, I am beginning to think that I don't miss Hawaii, but I miss the life I had there.  The DINK life.  The life, where my husband and I could go to a hotel for the weekend, and crank the AC and drink beers, while we try and figure out why the hell Dora the Explorer is so repetitive.  Don't get me wrong... I love my kids with my whole self, and I love that Virginia has taught me to appreciate all the other places that I have lived, but sometimes, like today, I find myself longing to walk a half a mile to the library, stock up on trashy books, and walk home... without having to stop... without having to go potty seventeen times... without having snacks crumble in my purse.  I miss getting home, to a house that is just the way I left it.  I miss not having to eat, if I didn't want to.  I miss taking the bus to the gym, and spending time with me.  I miss the quiet.

On a day, where the weather is horribly cold and wet and rainy, and the kids are cooped up and crazy, I miss the quiet of not having cable, and that the only radio in the house was my alarm clock.  I miss the a.m. station that played a loop of surf music.  I miss having friends that were more than happy to put a few back and talk about prime numbers.

I know that quiet and I will be friends again.  I am lucky to still have my nerdy beer happy friends (i miss you all SOOOO MUCH!), and I am also lucky to have the family that I have.  My kids are healthy and happy and smart, and my husband is the most wonderful man ever, and super committed to his family, but still, sometimes, for a bit, I miss the old me, and the crazy wonderful quiet space that I used to occupy, once upon a time...

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