let me tell you something about my mom... she never shuts up. she ALWAYS has something to say, and after a week of her being here, the house is quiet again... painfully quiet.
i love my mom... and i love how she can talk and talk and talk. after being here a week, the kids are listening better, Kitty is talking up a storm (she actually said STICKY!) and everyone just feels better. did i forget to mention that my mom is a pretty positive person? that she can talk and talk about good things? and that when she does need to vent, that is exactly what it is... she will vent, and let it go...
she is my hero, and i love her. she has been gone about 8 hours, and it feels like days... i am hoping to win the lotto... i want and need my mom to be near... so do my kids.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
things i am thankful for...
i am thankful for my Jake, who sings Bob Marley's "three little birds" with such purity that deep down, i know everything is going to be alright.
i am thankful for my Liz, who when i offered sweets for breakfast if she let the dog out in the morning, she said "if Jake and I both let the dog out, do we both get sweets? i want Jake to have good things too." she lets me know that i am doing an ok job in raising my kids to be more than brother and sister, and that they will grow up to be friends.
i am thankful for my Kitty, who makes me laugh with her wiggly little dances. her joy for life brightens my day when things get to be a little too much.
i am thankful for my body, which at this very moment is creating a new little life to bring even more love to my heart.
i am thankful for my family who are always a phone call away, and who always make me feel less crazy.
i am thankful for all my friends, who are funny and smart, and brave and awesome. i love them.
i am thankful that we are not for want. that we have all the things we need to get by, and more... and that we are able to share what we have with people that we know and love, and with people that we will never meet.
i am thankful for my husband, who works hard, and through his sacrifice, has gifted us with the life our family leads. (i just wish his job had him home more. i miss him.)
there is so much in my life that i have to be thankful for, but i think i will just say that i am thankful for my life. i am glad that it is mine, and i wouldn't trade it for anything.
i am thankful for my Liz, who when i offered sweets for breakfast if she let the dog out in the morning, she said "if Jake and I both let the dog out, do we both get sweets? i want Jake to have good things too." she lets me know that i am doing an ok job in raising my kids to be more than brother and sister, and that they will grow up to be friends.
i am thankful for my Kitty, who makes me laugh with her wiggly little dances. her joy for life brightens my day when things get to be a little too much.
i am thankful for my body, which at this very moment is creating a new little life to bring even more love to my heart.
i am thankful for my family who are always a phone call away, and who always make me feel less crazy.
i am thankful for all my friends, who are funny and smart, and brave and awesome. i love them.
i am thankful that we are not for want. that we have all the things we need to get by, and more... and that we are able to share what we have with people that we know and love, and with people that we will never meet.
i am thankful for my husband, who works hard, and through his sacrifice, has gifted us with the life our family leads. (i just wish his job had him home more. i miss him.)
there is so much in my life that i have to be thankful for, but i think i will just say that i am thankful for my life. i am glad that it is mine, and i wouldn't trade it for anything.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
an apple a day
when i was single i used to bite apples.
when i got married, i took to cutting them in quarters.
now that i have twenty seven thousand eight hundred and forty two kids, i cut them into twelfths, and peel four of those, and serve them in bowls, and stop the fighting because "SHE GOT MORE THAN ME!!!" by giving up the little bit that is mine.
one day i will bite an apple again, but until that day comes, i will savor the smiles and the "thank you mama!'s and the "it's ok that yours fell... have some of mine"s that i get. and it will make my heart happy that i am teaching sharing, and patience, and nutrition, and math, and differences and similarities (have you ever compared a honeycrisp to a red delicious? completely different!), all with the help of the humble apple.
when i got married, i took to cutting them in quarters.
now that i have twenty seven thousand eight hundred and forty two kids, i cut them into twelfths, and peel four of those, and serve them in bowls, and stop the fighting because "SHE GOT MORE THAN ME!!!" by giving up the little bit that is mine.
one day i will bite an apple again, but until that day comes, i will savor the smiles and the "thank you mama!'s and the "it's ok that yours fell... have some of mine"s that i get. and it will make my heart happy that i am teaching sharing, and patience, and nutrition, and math, and differences and similarities (have you ever compared a honeycrisp to a red delicious? completely different!), all with the help of the humble apple.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
9 years ago
i made this for my Hubs a bit before our 1st anniversary...
nine years ago i got married. in las vegas. in a drive thru in a taxi. i had an orange tshirt and jeans and my husband to be wore a dickies and a sweatshirt. after we got married, we gambled and drank free beer and ate at the buffet. we rode roller coasters and had a fight, and made up, and now here it is 9 years later. we have lived in four states, and have three (soon to be four) kids. we have had numerous fish, and a dog who acts like a cat. we have had fights, and we have had great times. and all in all we have treated our marriage much like that night we got married. we take it a little at a time. we wear clothes that are comfortable, and eat good food (although sometimes too much dessert). we drink beer, and gamble with each new place that we live, and we ride the constant roller coaster that is parenthood. and even though a lot of times i am on land and by myself, and he is underwater by himself, we are never alone... we have each other. i am glad that i never had any crazy expectations of what our married life would be. i am glad that i married my friend. and i am glad that he married me.
happy anniversary, HD! i hope the flaming hot whatevers you are eating taste good. i miss you, and i am glad i get to see you almost sooner rather than later. here's to counting on our toes!
Monday, November 7, 2011
24 weeks
guess what?!? i am six months pregnant. and i am going to celebrate by eating too much pasta! whoopee!!!
and now here is something so cute you will either puke or want a baby of your own...
and now here is something so cute you will either puke or want a baby of your own...
Sunday, November 6, 2011
thoughts on the time change...
the time change is always looked forward to (at least fall back) by me. the resetting of my internal clock gives me at least three days of mania, during which i get TONS done. the only problem with this mania, is that it seems that i am the only one that gets it. or maybe i am the only one that puts it to good use.
this is what my 7 year old daughter said to me today, "wow, mom! today sure has been relaxing and calm!"
what she doesn't see is that while she and her siblings have been playing legos, and cutting little bits of paper, i cleaned out the car, washed and folded three loads of laundry, made my bed and threw all their toys out of my room, cleaned off the table, packed two boxes to ship to my darling (and sorely missed) husband, taken care of correspondence (ok. facebook) and made plans for a movie matinee, changed all the towels, found two knitting patterns, and organized my knitting needles and UFOs, and made note that i need some new cables, and some size 5s. i have also cleaned up the front room, and put away my store of pumpkin butter, and folded up my reusable bags. have i mentioned i left my bed at 8 and it is only 1130? so, yeah, i think the mania is here for a bit. i hope it doesn't leave me drained. for the rest of the day, all i have planned is to eat some food, and maybe hit the craft store... lets see if i can stick to that...
this is what my 7 year old daughter said to me today, "wow, mom! today sure has been relaxing and calm!"
what she doesn't see is that while she and her siblings have been playing legos, and cutting little bits of paper, i cleaned out the car, washed and folded three loads of laundry, made my bed and threw all their toys out of my room, cleaned off the table, packed two boxes to ship to my darling (and sorely missed) husband, taken care of correspondence (ok. facebook) and made plans for a movie matinee, changed all the towels, found two knitting patterns, and organized my knitting needles and UFOs, and made note that i need some new cables, and some size 5s. i have also cleaned up the front room, and put away my store of pumpkin butter, and folded up my reusable bags. have i mentioned i left my bed at 8 and it is only 1130? so, yeah, i think the mania is here for a bit. i hope it doesn't leave me drained. for the rest of the day, all i have planned is to eat some food, and maybe hit the craft store... lets see if i can stick to that...
Monday, October 31, 2011
23 weeks.
i think i have been trying to stack things too high. i have been, little by little, trying to incorporate things into my schedule that i believe need to get done. and in reality there is really very little that i NEED to do. and so, this week, i am going to be stripping down my work week (again) and doing as little as i can. last week was really rough on me, physically and mentally, and i don't want to do that. i don't want to be a looney mom, who always has a headache, or back ache, or needs a nap. so, if i get to it, i get to it. if not, then hopefully when the Queen stops by (har har) i will find the time to change the hand towel, and make sure the soap dispenser isn't all goopey. other than that, it doesn't really matter.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
a prairie home companion...
i have always tried to be a strong woman. the kind that doesn't mind work or walking in the mud. i have tried to hold onto the image of the women that walked with the wagon trains to oregon, or helped their families work the land when times were a lot more tough.
but today was the kind of day that would send a proper homesteader back to bed. i am sure if i lived back then, my day would've gone something like this...
woke up to the hog being eat by coyotes, and the cow is now dry. where ever the chickens are laying, it isn't in the box - no eggs. found the lard was rancid, and i burned the biscuits. still no rain, and can't water the crops, except for the shriveled up house garden that the bugs seemed to be getting more of than us anyway. since nothing can be done til tomorrow, i am going to have a nice big cry, then i am going to eat the last piece of peppermint candy i have, and go to sleep. tomorrow will look better after a good rest to my soul. i pray that God will give me the strength to keep on.
and so that is what i plan on doing. i have had a nice big cry, and i am going to have something nice and cold to drink, and i am going to pray that i can get through this. i know it seems so big and daunting, and horrible and lonely, and it is. but it is also big and wonderful and lovely and beautiful, and together, my and my chickens will get to the other side, especially the one that hasn't hatched yet...
but today was the kind of day that would send a proper homesteader back to bed. i am sure if i lived back then, my day would've gone something like this...
woke up to the hog being eat by coyotes, and the cow is now dry. where ever the chickens are laying, it isn't in the box - no eggs. found the lard was rancid, and i burned the biscuits. still no rain, and can't water the crops, except for the shriveled up house garden that the bugs seemed to be getting more of than us anyway. since nothing can be done til tomorrow, i am going to have a nice big cry, then i am going to eat the last piece of peppermint candy i have, and go to sleep. tomorrow will look better after a good rest to my soul. i pray that God will give me the strength to keep on.
and so that is what i plan on doing. i have had a nice big cry, and i am going to have something nice and cold to drink, and i am going to pray that i can get through this. i know it seems so big and daunting, and horrible and lonely, and it is. but it is also big and wonderful and lovely and beautiful, and together, my and my chickens will get to the other side, especially the one that hasn't hatched yet...
Monday, October 24, 2011
i think i can (22 weeks)
my last couple of tasks that i have given myself have gone over pretty well. i am keeping up with my chores (when i want/NEED to), and i have been taking time for myself (although not as much as i need). this week my goal is simple... i think...
this week i am going to take care of my feet. not to make them sound uber disgusting, or that they need some special attention because they are sooooo gross, i just want to make them look nice for the sake of looking nice. so i am going to take some time for a home pedicure.
i have never really been one to frequent nail salons, in fact i have been 3 times in my life. the first time i went, they cut my finger. the second time i went, i went full tilt and went to an organic spa that autoclaved the tools they used, opened them in front of you, and sent me home with all the nail files, and orange sticks they used. the third time i went, my girlfriends and i went as a group, and snuck in mixed drinks, and laughed at how the massage chairs were making Kristi look lewd. but all the three times, before i went i made sure to cut and clean my own nails. they filed them and made them look nice, but i did the cutting. i am strange like that. i like the fact that i am the only one responsible for keeping my nails short and clean and bacteria free. (just looking at my cuticles can tell you i am a frequent hand washer.) i also like that throughout all my pregnancies i have been the one to cut my toenails. (as i write this my darling DragonBall is bipping with hiccups.) it's kind of a challenge, and maybe they don't get done all at the same time, but it is my own personal yoga. it keeps me limber and makes me breathe slow, and concentrate. and this is one thing i need... to breathe slow, and concentrate on the task before me.
this week i am going to take care of my feet. not to make them sound uber disgusting, or that they need some special attention because they are sooooo gross, i just want to make them look nice for the sake of looking nice. so i am going to take some time for a home pedicure.
i have never really been one to frequent nail salons, in fact i have been 3 times in my life. the first time i went, they cut my finger. the second time i went, i went full tilt and went to an organic spa that autoclaved the tools they used, opened them in front of you, and sent me home with all the nail files, and orange sticks they used. the third time i went, my girlfriends and i went as a group, and snuck in mixed drinks, and laughed at how the massage chairs were making Kristi look lewd. but all the three times, before i went i made sure to cut and clean my own nails. they filed them and made them look nice, but i did the cutting. i am strange like that. i like the fact that i am the only one responsible for keeping my nails short and clean and bacteria free. (just looking at my cuticles can tell you i am a frequent hand washer.) i also like that throughout all my pregnancies i have been the one to cut my toenails. (as i write this my darling DragonBall is bipping with hiccups.) it's kind of a challenge, and maybe they don't get done all at the same time, but it is my own personal yoga. it keeps me limber and makes me breathe slow, and concentrate. and this is one thing i need... to breathe slow, and concentrate on the task before me.
some updates...
shopping...
the outlets were both fun and agonizing. we got some great deals for the kids, and some wintery type outfits for the wee Dragon Ball. my plan of action so i didn't eat the kids and the kids didn't eat me, was to shop until we found something more appetizing than each other.
there were frozen bananas...
and pretzels...
and we ended with Ben & Jerry's (no spoons required).
i would definitely do it again, but i would go a bit earlier, and try and eat something heartier before we got there.
regarding my mom's christmas present, i think i might actually have it done by then! woo hoo! crocheting it is hard on my hands so i can't work on it for long, but little by little i am getting there, and i know when she opens the box she's going to be like LSP... all "OH. MY. GLOB! this is the BEST. THING. EVAR!!!" too bad i won't be there.
and as far as crochet goes... my lovely new interweb friend Ellen Bloom has gifted me with some beautiful cotton yarn. i am going to wait until i talk with my hubs and find out where we are moving to, until i decide what to make with it. i am hoping somewhere warm, and i can whip up a little light shawlette or something. we shall see.
btw, if you love L.A. as much as i do, and you miss the food and color and everything, you really should give Ellen's blog a go. it's lovely.
the outlets were both fun and agonizing. we got some great deals for the kids, and some wintery type outfits for the wee Dragon Ball. my plan of action so i didn't eat the kids and the kids didn't eat me, was to shop until we found something more appetizing than each other.
there were frozen bananas...
and pretzels...
and we ended with Ben & Jerry's (no spoons required).
i would definitely do it again, but i would go a bit earlier, and try and eat something heartier before we got there.
regarding my mom's christmas present, i think i might actually have it done by then! woo hoo! crocheting it is hard on my hands so i can't work on it for long, but little by little i am getting there, and i know when she opens the box she's going to be like LSP... all "OH. MY. GLOB! this is the BEST. THING. EVAR!!!" too bad i won't be there.
and as far as crochet goes... my lovely new interweb friend Ellen Bloom has gifted me with some beautiful cotton yarn. i am going to wait until i talk with my hubs and find out where we are moving to, until i decide what to make with it. i am hoping somewhere warm, and i can whip up a little light shawlette or something. we shall see.
btw, if you love L.A. as much as i do, and you miss the food and color and everything, you really should give Ellen's blog a go. it's lovely.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
yesterday i made cookies... and brownies... and a pineapple upside down cake. yesterday i ate those cookies, and brownies, and cakes. today is going to be different though... today, i am going to sort some laundry and get it going, and read the newspaper, and drink some coffee... while i eat cookies, and brownies, and cake.
!!!
on a side note, jake has become so obsessed with Gumby (yes Gumby) that he has taken to calling Liz "Minga". i think it's cute. i hope it sticks, and even when they get old he will call her "Minga" and that will be his special name for her.
!!!
on a side note, jake has become so obsessed with Gumby (yes Gumby) that he has taken to calling Liz "Minga". i think it's cute. i hope it sticks, and even when they get old he will call her "Minga" and that will be his special name for her.
Monday, October 17, 2011
one more thing to do
my mom's christmas present is made up of several things crammed together in a box... i am making an effort this week to finish at least 10 of those things... each one takes about 10 minutes so it shouldn't be too hard to squeeze that in.
i'll let you know how it goes.
i'll let you know how it goes.
i think i can... (21 weeks)
so i am 21 weeks pregnant... and i am a sometimes single mom... there is a lot of things to do, a lot of hugs to give, and a lot of toes to make line up. there is also not so much time to get that all done. i have figured out that i can have it two ways... i can have a nice and clean and picked up house, and home made meals every day, but with that comes short temper and hurt feelings, or i can have an ok house, and take out, and be able to sit and watch cartoons with my kids, and everyone can go to bed feeling good about themselves. i am consciously choosing the latter. and so if that means that the hand towels don't get changed every couple of days, or maybe we have pizza more than one night a week, that is ok. i am not going to feel bad. as much as my kids deserve to have a square meal, they also deserve to have a happy mom.
for this week, as well as keeping up on my chores, i am making an effort to have a half an hour to myself. for a half an hour the tv can babysit. and i am going to have a shower and read... or look at a magazine and have a snack, or just lay down. a half an hour can do a lot in improving my outlook on life, and i am going to take it. it is what i deserve.
for this week, as well as keeping up on my chores, i am making an effort to have a half an hour to myself. for a half an hour the tv can babysit. and i am going to have a shower and read... or look at a magazine and have a snack, or just lay down. a half an hour can do a lot in improving my outlook on life, and i am going to take it. it is what i deserve.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
beyond the beyond...
today i am going out with the kids... the farthest (by car) that i have ever been with them, by myself. it isn't to the most glamorous place (the outlet mall) but i think it may help me put things in perspective, and help be less uptight. or it might throw me over the edge, and send me screaming to the nearest historic village to become their local mad person... updates to follow...
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
i think i can...
some things i am trying this week...
1. to actually stay on top of my chores... not necessarily on the day that they should be done, but just that they get done... my house looks... well... not good.
2. a menu. i planned a menu of seven things to eat for dinner... again they can be moved around, for which ever day i feel like, as long as we eat those seven things.
3. to not lose my shit. lately i feel like the wee dragon ball has turned me into a giant dragon lady. i go from ok to batshit crazy mad in the blink of an eye. i have a feeling that some of it is because my house is dirty and i don't know what to cook...
i am going to try my best, which right now, isn't setting the bar very high...
1. to actually stay on top of my chores... not necessarily on the day that they should be done, but just that they get done... my house looks... well... not good.
2. a menu. i planned a menu of seven things to eat for dinner... again they can be moved around, for which ever day i feel like, as long as we eat those seven things.
3. to not lose my shit. lately i feel like the wee dragon ball has turned me into a giant dragon lady. i go from ok to batshit crazy mad in the blink of an eye. i have a feeling that some of it is because my house is dirty and i don't know what to cook...
i am going to try my best, which right now, isn't setting the bar very high...
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
a thought on Hiccups...
i always hear on the news or science shows that no one really knows what hiccups are for. i have a theory. i think that hiccuping is a way that babies, in utero, exercise their lungs, and get them ready to breath air. i think that it is normal and good for them to hiccup and i always feel better once the little steady bip-bip-bip begins... hiccups in adults, however, have no purpose, and are just an excuse to swallow a spoon of sugar or some pixie stix.
on another note, the little movements of dragon ball are becoming more noticeable, and i believe that within the next week or so, the other littles in the house should be able to feel them.
OH DRAGON BALL! I can not believe you are almost halfway done cooking...
on another note, the little movements of dragon ball are becoming more noticeable, and i believe that within the next week or so, the other littles in the house should be able to feel them.
OH DRAGON BALL! I can not believe you are almost halfway done cooking...
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
dream a little dream...
do you ever have those really vivid dreams? the ones that are so normal, and so real, when you wake up you go "WHA?!?" i had one of those last night. it was awesome! here is what i remember...
1. it was summer time and i was at Obon/J-town.
2. food was everywhere and it was awesome.
3. there was shave ice. red shave ice.
4. i had a brand new made for me Yukata... it was white and had little colorful bobby pins printed all over it. i also had a red Obi and some brand new zori. (since it was hot there was no need for tabi!)
5. Taiko! (little known fact: when i first hear taiko, no matter where i am, i feel like crying, i am so happy)
it was the best dream i have had in a long time. it was so good, in fact, that when i really woke up, and realized that i am no where near any of that goodness, i proceeded to cry and go back to sleep. i know i complain a lot about how i don't like living in Virginia, and it all sounds so boo hoo baby of me, but it's been really hard on me here. So Cal is a most forgiving place, and it accepts all kinds, and even there sometimes i feel like a sore thumb. so, one can only imagine the isolation i feel here. i just hope that this is our "penance duty station", and we are made to live here so we can appreciate where we have been, and where we are going... and i pray that we are getting out of here.
on another note, the wee dragon ball is moving around. started yesterday. continued tonight... and so it begins...
1. it was summer time and i was at Obon/J-town.
2. food was everywhere and it was awesome.
3. there was shave ice. red shave ice.
4. i had a brand new made for me Yukata... it was white and had little colorful bobby pins printed all over it. i also had a red Obi and some brand new zori. (since it was hot there was no need for tabi!)
5. Taiko! (little known fact: when i first hear taiko, no matter where i am, i feel like crying, i am so happy)
it was the best dream i have had in a long time. it was so good, in fact, that when i really woke up, and realized that i am no where near any of that goodness, i proceeded to cry and go back to sleep. i know i complain a lot about how i don't like living in Virginia, and it all sounds so boo hoo baby of me, but it's been really hard on me here. So Cal is a most forgiving place, and it accepts all kinds, and even there sometimes i feel like a sore thumb. so, one can only imagine the isolation i feel here. i just hope that this is our "penance duty station", and we are made to live here so we can appreciate where we have been, and where we are going... and i pray that we are getting out of here.
on another note, the wee dragon ball is moving around. started yesterday. continued tonight... and so it begins...
Thursday, September 22, 2011
WHA...?!?!
the other day i went to costco... it was like every other time i go to costco. i have kitty in the front of the cart, and jake in the main part, and we weave in and out of slow old people as fast as we can, eating as many free samples as we can. then we check out, and go to the bathroom, and then hit up some pizza and hot dogs. this time there was a family of 6 next to us. the kids that weren't on hand held games were crawling around on the floor (gross!) while the dad waited for their pizza to be done, and mom looked at some wrinkled paper for 10 minutes. i guess she finally had enough of the gross floor crawling and she kind of snapped. then she looked around to see who saw her snap. everyone. she went back to looking at her paper, and the huz came back with pizza, and floor crawlers started to eat, without even wiping their hands...
in the mean time, kitty was starting to go bonkers. she had enough sitting, and old people, and costco. it was fine til she slipped off the seat. she landed on her butt at the same time paper reading mom was snapping. i picked kitty off the floor, and told her, very calmly, that there is a reason to listen to me, and that reason is because i know better. the old people next to us were very... "wow! you sure have it under control... blah blah." i didn't think it was fair to paper mom. i have snapped too. a lot. snapped where i knew for sure my kids would never forgive my screaming, where for sure my husband would divorce me for the poison spewing out my mouth... so i said "i feel the same way with my kids sometimes..." and they say, "but you don't have so many!" and i say "but i do! i have three and i am working on one more! its a handful but worth it" and they stopped talking to me, and looked away.
i don't get it. so, for them, it's ok to lose your shit with two kids because two is an acceptable number? but FOUR? then i guess its your fault you have so many, and you should deal with it better because you chose this? i don't know... they tripped me out.
at the same time though, i felt like it was a huge compliment to look like i am a non preggo with two kids. it felt nice that they didn't think i looked as crazy and tired and bonkers as i feel.
funny what i think of as a compliment now...
in the mean time, kitty was starting to go bonkers. she had enough sitting, and old people, and costco. it was fine til she slipped off the seat. she landed on her butt at the same time paper reading mom was snapping. i picked kitty off the floor, and told her, very calmly, that there is a reason to listen to me, and that reason is because i know better. the old people next to us were very... "wow! you sure have it under control... blah blah." i didn't think it was fair to paper mom. i have snapped too. a lot. snapped where i knew for sure my kids would never forgive my screaming, where for sure my husband would divorce me for the poison spewing out my mouth... so i said "i feel the same way with my kids sometimes..." and they say, "but you don't have so many!" and i say "but i do! i have three and i am working on one more! its a handful but worth it" and they stopped talking to me, and looked away.
i don't get it. so, for them, it's ok to lose your shit with two kids because two is an acceptable number? but FOUR? then i guess its your fault you have so many, and you should deal with it better because you chose this? i don't know... they tripped me out.
at the same time though, i felt like it was a huge compliment to look like i am a non preggo with two kids. it felt nice that they didn't think i looked as crazy and tired and bonkers as i feel.
funny what i think of as a compliment now...
Sunday, September 11, 2011
ten years ago i wasn't married, didn't have kids, a car or cable. i never saw the towers fall, but i don't need to, to understand the horrors that happened. i listened to the radio, and prayed for everyone. not only the people that were in the towers, or DC, but also the people that had a part in causing the events that unfolded. there is no god that accepts causing pain and death as worship.
i don't have to "never forget" because this is something i will always remember.
i don't have to "never forget" because this is something i will always remember.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
a nice and proper rant...
dear state of virginia,
i hate you. i hate your mosquitoes, and your stupid spiders. i hate your east coast time, and your dumb weather. i hate that you can't even have a proper hurricane, that would at least damage my house enough that i could justify moving to california for the next year or so. i hate that you are annoying... you make the grass grow fast, and the leaves fall faster. i hate that there is nothing cool here, that i can't find somewhere else. i hate that everyone tells me "what about the history?" i could give two shits about the history here. my history is tied to the missions of california, and migrant farm work. i hate parking at the walmart, and how stupid everyone is driving down the wrong way, and throwing their little bottles of empty booze out the window. i hate how i feel like a broken (not just sore) thumb. i hate that you have a crab fest. i hate the mermaids of norfolk, and the dolphins of virginia beach. i hate how you try to be a vacation destination... i would rather go to TJ and risk the drug lords. i hate that no one knows what pan is. i hate that pollo loco closed and that i will have to make tamales if i want to eat them. i hate that you don't have proper tortillas, and salsa verde doritos don't live here.
i tried to give you another chance. really. i came back from 110 degree weather in L.A. and was looking forward to central air.... and that is when it hit me... i missed the things i have here (air conditioning, dishwasher, plentiful hot water) but not where i lived. virginia, you are my penance for not appreciating where i lived everywhere before you. virginia, i will live in the house here, and reside in you, but i will never call you home... i hate you too much. i would rather live in pacoima. i would take my moms house with her seventeen thousand cats, and hot water enough for one shower, if i could. it makes me sad to say that two of my babies will be born here. my hope for them is that this is the worst part of their lives, and that it will only get better, once we get the fuck out of here.
seriously, virginia, fall off into the ocean.
i hate you.
Victoria
i hate you. i hate your mosquitoes, and your stupid spiders. i hate your east coast time, and your dumb weather. i hate that you can't even have a proper hurricane, that would at least damage my house enough that i could justify moving to california for the next year or so. i hate that you are annoying... you make the grass grow fast, and the leaves fall faster. i hate that there is nothing cool here, that i can't find somewhere else. i hate that everyone tells me "what about the history?" i could give two shits about the history here. my history is tied to the missions of california, and migrant farm work. i hate parking at the walmart, and how stupid everyone is driving down the wrong way, and throwing their little bottles of empty booze out the window. i hate how i feel like a broken (not just sore) thumb. i hate that you have a crab fest. i hate the mermaids of norfolk, and the dolphins of virginia beach. i hate how you try to be a vacation destination... i would rather go to TJ and risk the drug lords. i hate that no one knows what pan is. i hate that pollo loco closed and that i will have to make tamales if i want to eat them. i hate that you don't have proper tortillas, and salsa verde doritos don't live here.
i tried to give you another chance. really. i came back from 110 degree weather in L.A. and was looking forward to central air.... and that is when it hit me... i missed the things i have here (air conditioning, dishwasher, plentiful hot water) but not where i lived. virginia, you are my penance for not appreciating where i lived everywhere before you. virginia, i will live in the house here, and reside in you, but i will never call you home... i hate you too much. i would rather live in pacoima. i would take my moms house with her seventeen thousand cats, and hot water enough for one shower, if i could. it makes me sad to say that two of my babies will be born here. my hope for them is that this is the worst part of their lives, and that it will only get better, once we get the fuck out of here.
seriously, virginia, fall off into the ocean.
i hate you.
Victoria
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
February Uberlist Update!
90. Order Babychan’s baby photos.
103. Finish the LOTR movies.
110. Make a pie.
I've done more... really.... or maybe February was just a super-short-whizzing-by kind of a month... either way, i am happy with what i have done. the baby pictures are cute, the pie was good, and i took some time to watch movies that i like. i think Feb was a WIN!
103. Finish the LOTR movies.
110. Make a pie.
I've done more... really.... or maybe February was just a super-short-whizzing-by kind of a month... either way, i am happy with what i have done. the baby pictures are cute, the pie was good, and i took some time to watch movies that i like. i think Feb was a WIN!
FO Friday Part 2
i know this is two weeks late, but whatever... here are some things i've done.
Sue Ellen: Destroyer of Bad Dreams
Valentines Day badges (sorry it's upside down!)
8/52
8/52
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Thoughts on St. Valentine's Day
I am sitting watching Jakey swim at the YMCA and thinking what a great
St. Valentine's day it is. There will be crafting later and playing
outside and swimming with Liz. I made lunch for Liz with hearts and
doilies, and a nutella sandwich, not to mention a piece of apple pie
in a jar! It is a great day.
Now onto the rant...
I am tired of hearing women complain about being alone today, about
husbands/boyfriends being gone or being single. Whatevs! My husband
is out. He is underwater and I haven't heard from him. I am ok with
this. The last thing he needs is to hear me complaining. If today is a
day of love (which everyday should be) then let me celebrate with my
kids and share my love with them. I don't need shitty stuffed animals
that play music. I don't need cards and knick knacks. I am more than
happy with them sharing with each other and giving each other hugs and
kisses.
I shall be a proper pioneer, and make do with what I have, and what i
have are three of the most fantastic kids in the world!
St. Valentine's day it is. There will be crafting later and playing
outside and swimming with Liz. I made lunch for Liz with hearts and
doilies, and a nutella sandwich, not to mention a piece of apple pie
in a jar! It is a great day.
Now onto the rant...
I am tired of hearing women complain about being alone today, about
husbands/boyfriends being gone or being single. Whatevs! My husband
is out. He is underwater and I haven't heard from him. I am ok with
this. The last thing he needs is to hear me complaining. If today is a
day of love (which everyday should be) then let me celebrate with my
kids and share my love with them. I don't need shitty stuffed animals
that play music. I don't need cards and knick knacks. I am more than
happy with them sharing with each other and giving each other hugs and
kisses.
I shall be a proper pioneer, and make do with what I have, and what i
have are three of the most fantastic kids in the world!
Happy St. Valentine's Day.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
you know your a mom when...
there is a stick of glue in your back pocket, and you almost take it out and use it, instead of burts bees.
you almost got me, Elmer's... almost.
you almost got me, Elmer's... almost.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Wip wednesday.
of course i still have the regular knitting going. the koolhaas, the
toe up sock, pat's annoyingly boring extremely large socks, you
know... the regulars... but this week i have been working on something
spring-y and summer-y... something that the kids are going B-BONKERS
for... i am kind of embarrassed that it has taken me since Sunday to
put it together, but then i take into account that i have 3 kids (one
of which is still a baby) to take care of, and a house to keep going,
so i cut myself slack. it should be done today. i only have to
attach the slide, and add the baby swing, and anchor it, but still...
here it is!!
toe up sock, pat's annoyingly boring extremely large socks, you
know... the regulars... but this week i have been working on something
spring-y and summer-y... something that the kids are going B-BONKERS
for... i am kind of embarrassed that it has taken me since Sunday to
put it together, but then i take into account that i have 3 kids (one
of which is still a baby) to take care of, and a house to keep going,
so i cut myself slack. it should be done today. i only have to
attach the slide, and add the baby swing, and anchor it, but still...
here it is!!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
January uberlist update!
Cleaning Up.
28. Clear out the pantry.
29. Fix the recycle bin.
34. Store old bills.
35. Shred really old bills.
36. Put away Christmas by 1/10/2011
My Kiddos
58. Get the kids swimming lessons.
Online shizzle
85. Post Uberlist by 1/7/2011.
Gotta get some stuff too…
91. Get a new helmet.
92. Buy some pants that fit.
93. Get new Teflon pans.
95. Buy Marisa a graduation present.
98. Buy LUSH shampoo.
Alternates.
116. Fix Mr. Monkeychan.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
its been a long year...
and i have this to show for it.
i saw this shirt, and thought it was the best! and now, i realize that this shirt holds all my hopes for her future. i am lucky enough that i have a great relationship with my parents, i have known (and loved) all but one of my grandparents, i have an awesome group of friends, and although it is hard sometimes, i think i am doing a pretty good job of holding my shit together. i hope that she can have all those and many years to come.
happy birthday Miss K!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
WIP Wednesday
here is the koolhaas. sorry about the weird glare, i had to use a flash to show the pattern...
here is my toe up sock. it is fitting better now, that i have more repeats on it, but it isn't the most comfortable toe... maybe judy's magic cast on will be better than the figure 8 i used...
hhhrmmmmmm.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Supper time, and the living is easy.
They are wonton wrappers filled with taco meat. I prepped them, PAMmed a nonstick cookie sheet and PAMmed the top of them lightly. Then I baked them at 425 F for 8 minutes. Liz loved them! She ate six. Jake ate three. I had none, since the kids ate them all. Tomorrow I am going to try some filled with beans and cheese. If I were the superbowl type, I think I would make some with BBQ pulled pork and make a spicy peanut coleslaw. They are easy to make once you get the hang of it. I think I am going to cook them longer and at a lower temp. The kids didn't like the black bits.
Stay tuned for more foods...
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
WIP Wednesday
still working on my toe up socks. they seem a little baggy, but i think it might just be me, i am going to work one more repeat before making any decisions.
this is a Koolhaas for my Dearest. since i can only work on it at night, i am slowly going blind. oh well, at least it is a fun way to go...
UPDATE: while finishing up a repeat of Koolhaas, i found that the cables aren't matching up. so i had to rip back to the ribbing. better luck next time...
UPDATE: while finishing up a repeat of Koolhaas, i found that the cables aren't matching up. so i had to rip back to the ribbing. better luck next time...
Friday, January 14, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
WIP Wednesday #2
Pat's turn a square hat. he requested it in all black, boring boring black.
my toe up sock. not much done on it, because Pat's boring boring hat is taking priority.
oh! and i haven't worked on Pat's socks at all. and i am ok with that.
oh! and i haven't worked on Pat's socks at all. and i am ok with that.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
sometimes, i miss living in Hawaii. Especially now, that I live in Virginia, I miss living in Hawaii. I can't tell you exactly what I miss about it, though. I mean, yeah, it was always summer (although i could be caught wearing a wool sweater in November), and the people are friendly, and the food is delicious, but I can't help feeling there is more to it than that.
More and more, I am beginning to think that I don't miss Hawaii, but I miss the life I had there. The DINK life. The life, where my husband and I could go to a hotel for the weekend, and crank the AC and drink beers, while we try and figure out why the hell Dora the Explorer is so repetitive. Don't get me wrong... I love my kids with my whole self, and I love that Virginia has taught me to appreciate all the other places that I have lived, but sometimes, like today, I find myself longing to walk a half a mile to the library, stock up on trashy books, and walk home... without having to stop... without having to go potty seventeen times... without having snacks crumble in my purse. I miss getting home, to a house that is just the way I left it. I miss not having to eat, if I didn't want to. I miss taking the bus to the gym, and spending time with me. I miss the quiet.
On a day, where the weather is horribly cold and wet and rainy, and the kids are cooped up and crazy, I miss the quiet of not having cable, and that the only radio in the house was my alarm clock. I miss the a.m. station that played a loop of surf music. I miss having friends that were more than happy to put a few back and talk about prime numbers.
I know that quiet and I will be friends again. I am lucky to still have my nerdy beer happy friends (i miss you all SOOOO MUCH!), and I am also lucky to have the family that I have. My kids are healthy and happy and smart, and my husband is the most wonderful man ever, and super committed to his family, but still, sometimes, for a bit, I miss the old me, and the crazy wonderful quiet space that I used to occupy, once upon a time...
More and more, I am beginning to think that I don't miss Hawaii, but I miss the life I had there. The DINK life. The life, where my husband and I could go to a hotel for the weekend, and crank the AC and drink beers, while we try and figure out why the hell Dora the Explorer is so repetitive. Don't get me wrong... I love my kids with my whole self, and I love that Virginia has taught me to appreciate all the other places that I have lived, but sometimes, like today, I find myself longing to walk a half a mile to the library, stock up on trashy books, and walk home... without having to stop... without having to go potty seventeen times... without having snacks crumble in my purse. I miss getting home, to a house that is just the way I left it. I miss not having to eat, if I didn't want to. I miss taking the bus to the gym, and spending time with me. I miss the quiet.
On a day, where the weather is horribly cold and wet and rainy, and the kids are cooped up and crazy, I miss the quiet of not having cable, and that the only radio in the house was my alarm clock. I miss the a.m. station that played a loop of surf music. I miss having friends that were more than happy to put a few back and talk about prime numbers.
I know that quiet and I will be friends again. I am lucky to still have my nerdy beer happy friends (i miss you all SOOOO MUCH!), and I am also lucky to have the family that I have. My kids are healthy and happy and smart, and my husband is the most wonderful man ever, and super committed to his family, but still, sometimes, for a bit, I miss the old me, and the crazy wonderful quiet space that I used to occupy, once upon a time...
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Uberlist 2010: the aftermath.
It feels like I did a lot more... oh well... there is always THIS year...
1. Jaywalkers
2. Mosey
3. Central Park Hoodie
5. Baby Surprise Jacket- Jake
6. Baby Surprise Jacket- Baby
8. Fingerless Mitts
9. Pat Socks
10. Toe Up Socks
11. Snow Queen
12. Koolhaas
13. SOCK MONKEY MANIA- Liz
14. Jessie
15. Amelie
16. Jake
17. Ally
18. New Baby
19. Norma New Baby
20. Olivia
21. Violet
22. Ruby
23. Xander
24. Anita New Baby
25. Kristi New Baby
26. spin at least 4oz a month
27. finish weaving in ends of Owls Sweater
29. Update ravelry projects page.
30. Have a WIP Wednesday blog
34. make my bed everyday.
36. Go to the movies
38. Go on an awesome family vacay
39. watch less T.V.
45. … toy room
46. … toy room closet
50. organize shed
51. finish unpacking.
53. go to the botanical gardens more
54. go to the zoo more
55. keep up the front yard
56. finish weeding back yard
58. keep the kitchen cleaner.
64. blog more
68. eat more pizza hut.
71. savor summer beers
74. Keep more chocolate in my purse.
75. Enjoy happy hour at sonic with the kids more.
77. Read things with substance.
78. Look into taking an online class (math or color).
79. Save $ for yarn school 2011.
80. Paint Liz’s toenails more often.
81. Keep jake’s hair a decent length.
82. Send out birth announcements.
84. Take more walks with the kids.
85. Get Liz to ride a two wheeler.
89. Try to get Jake to wear pants/shorts more.
90. Go out to lunch with kids on their own once a month.
91. Get a family pic with as many of the cousins/grandkids as possible.
93. Blog a FO Friday (when possible).
94. (Post baby) buy and wear cute clothes.
95. Fix things as they break.
96. Grow things to eat this summer.
97. Spend as much time outside as possible.
98. Cut back on reality TV.
100. Send out Christmas/Holiday Cards.
101. End the year at 140 pounds at most.
103. Eat at the table more.
106. Upload photos once a month.
107. Keep on top of chores.
108. Wash the car once a month.
And here are a few alternates…
1. End year with less purchased yarn, but more hand spun.
3. Try to get the dog to be less of a weenie.
5. Plant a nice shady vine.
7. Update Uberlist at the end of every month.
48/117 finished!
my corresponding 90210 character is: Kelly! "You accomplish a fair amount without much effort, then spend all your free time patting yourself on the back. It's annoying. Also you're boring and nobody cares what you think."
And loads of laundry for 2010 total, FOUR HUNDRED AND SIX!!!!!!!
48/117 finished!
my corresponding 90210 character is: Kelly! "You accomplish a fair amount without much effort, then spend all your free time patting yourself on the back. It's annoying. Also you're boring and nobody cares what you think."
And loads of laundry for 2010 total, FOUR HUNDRED AND SIX!!!!!!!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
WIP #1
Toe up socks from Socks a la Carte in Berroco Sox Metallic. This is the first time I am trying toe up and I can't say if I like it or not. I am going wait until my knit picks circs arrive so I can magic loop them.
Mr. Pitts socks in some german yarn. I've been working on these forever and will continue to do so until they are done.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Uberlist 2011!!!
Happy New year! Here is my list for this year! Let's have at 'em!!!
Crafty
1. 52 weeks = 52 projects.
2. COLD SHEEP!
3. Build a light box for photos.
4. Sew some cute dresses.
5. toe up socks.
6. Red herring socks.
7. HPKCHC
8. Spin more.
9. Sew with Liz.
10. Hats for Pat.
11. Update Ravelry.
12. Squares for pineridge.
13. Finish that blasted Owls sweater.
14. Organize my knitting books.
15. Organize my knitting needles.
16. Organize my stash.
17. Finish sewing the flannel blanket.
18. Make the baby summer dresses.
19. Make Liz some summer dresses
20. Make Halloween costumes early!
21. Make reusable grocery bags.
22. Make reusable fruits bags.
Cleaning Up.
23. Get rid of books
24. Wash the car 6 times
25. Get the car serviced
26. Purge closet.
27. Purge drawers.
28. Clear out the pantry.
29. Fix the recycle bin.
30. Clean up the back yard.
31. Clean out the toy room closet.
32. Clean the carpets.
33. Wash the dishes before going to bed.
34. Store old bills.
35. Shred really old bills.
36. Put away Christmas by 1/10/2011
37. Get my ring properly cleaned.
$$ y’all
38. Pay down the bills
39. Save $500 for super vacay.
40. Save $500 for savings.
41. Consolidate savings.
42. Use more coupons.
43. Keep track of money saved, using coupons.
44. Save $100 for Japanese knitting books.
Don’t be a Hermit.
45. Have an awesome summer
46. Write/talk to my eldest brother more
47. Get people to visit me.
48. Visit my Mom.
49. Have lunch with my Mom.
50. Have lunch with my brothers and sister
51. Talk to my sister on the phone more.
52. Talk to Ginni on the phone more
53. Update the girlies on the super vacay 3 times.
54. Have a party with Kristi!
My Kiddos
55. Get Jake a proper haircut, and keep it up.
56. Get Liz to rider her two wheeler.
57. Take more walks with the kids.
58. Get the kids swimming lessons.
59. Get a family portrait.
60. Get Babychan a portrait.
61. Get Jake a portrait.
62. Take the kids to the community pool.
63. Keep up on taking the kids to the doctors and getting shots.
64. Get rid of pull ups.
65. Read Narnia to Liz.
66. Get Babychan to not freak out when I put her in the play pen.
67. Hug my kids more.
68. Nap more, with Babychan, and Jake.
69. Keep all 17, 584 nails in the house short.
70. Be outside more.
Check Myself before I Wreck Myself.
71. End 2011 less than 135 lbs.
72. Work out more.
73. Start roller skating.
74. Drink more water.
75. Go veg for one week to clean guts.
76. Run a 5K
77. Wii Fit once a week.
78. Visit Dr. Kanda.
79. Get a proper Doctor’s visit, complete with tests and the like.
80. See a dermatologist, possibly get mapped.
81. Take care of my feet.
82. Take Sadie for walks.
Online shizzle
83. Upload to Flickr more often.
84. Back up my photos.
85. Post Uberlist by 1/7/2011.
86. Update Uberlist monthly.
87. WIP Wednesday.
88. FO Friday.
Gotta get some stuff too…
89. Get Babychan a set of drawers.
90. Order Babychan’s baby photos.
91. Get a new helmet.
92. Buy some pants that fit.
93. Get new Teflon pans.
94. Keep my hair cute.
95. Buy Marisa a graduation present.
96. Look into a new vacuum.
97. Diamonds?!?
98. Buy LUSH shampoo.
99. A new bed?
Just for fun.
100. Finish Donkey Kong.
101. Watch all the “Rocky” movies.
102. Watch all the “Conan” movies.
103. Finish the LOTR movies.
104. Read 3 books.
Good things to eat.
105. Make a cake from scratch.
106. Eat more pancakes.
107. Donate to the food bank 3 times.
108. Eat more 7-11 nachos.
109. Make PW cinnamon rolls.
110. Make a pie.
111. Make jam at my Mom’s house.
Alternates.
112. Watch and/or read the news more.
113. Go to Las Vegas with my Mom.
114. Go to Disneyland.
Crafty
1. 52 weeks = 52 projects.
2. COLD SHEEP!
3. Build a light box for photos.
4. Sew some cute dresses.
5. toe up socks.
6. Red herring socks.
7. HPKCHC
8. Spin more.
9. Sew with Liz.
10. Hats for Pat.
11. Update Ravelry.
12. Squares for pineridge.
13. Finish that blasted Owls sweater.
14. Organize my knitting books.
15. Organize my knitting needles.
16. Organize my stash.
17. Finish sewing the flannel blanket.
18. Make the baby summer dresses.
19. Make Liz some summer dresses
20. Make Halloween costumes early!
21. Make reusable grocery bags.
22. Make reusable fruits bags.
Cleaning Up.
23. Get rid of books
24. Wash the car 6 times
25. Get the car serviced
26. Purge closet.
27. Purge drawers.
28. Clear out the pantry.
29. Fix the recycle bin.
30. Clean up the back yard.
31. Clean out the toy room closet.
32. Clean the carpets.
33. Wash the dishes before going to bed.
34. Store old bills.
35. Shred really old bills.
36. Put away Christmas by 1/10/2011
37. Get my ring properly cleaned.
$$ y’all
38. Pay down the bills
39. Save $500 for super vacay.
40. Save $500 for savings.
41. Consolidate savings.
42. Use more coupons.
43. Keep track of money saved, using coupons.
44. Save $100 for Japanese knitting books.
Don’t be a Hermit.
45. Have an awesome summer
46. Write/talk to my eldest brother more
47. Get people to visit me.
48. Visit my Mom.
49. Have lunch with my Mom.
50. Have lunch with my brothers and sister
51. Talk to my sister on the phone more.
52. Talk to Ginni on the phone more
53. Update the girlies on the super vacay 3 times.
54. Have a party with Kristi!
My Kiddos
55. Get Jake a proper haircut, and keep it up.
56. Get Liz to rider her two wheeler.
57. Take more walks with the kids.
58. Get the kids swimming lessons.
59. Get a family portrait.
60. Get Babychan a portrait.
61. Get Jake a portrait.
62. Take the kids to the community pool.
63. Keep up on taking the kids to the doctors and getting shots.
64. Get rid of pull ups.
65. Read Narnia to Liz.
66. Get Babychan to not freak out when I put her in the play pen.
67. Hug my kids more.
68. Nap more, with Babychan, and Jake.
69. Keep all 17, 584 nails in the house short.
70. Be outside more.
Check Myself before I Wreck Myself.
71. End 2011 less than 135 lbs.
72. Work out more.
73. Start roller skating.
74. Drink more water.
75. Go veg for one week to clean guts.
76. Run a 5K
77. Wii Fit once a week.
78. Visit Dr. Kanda.
79. Get a proper Doctor’s visit, complete with tests and the like.
80. See a dermatologist, possibly get mapped.
81. Take care of my feet.
82. Take Sadie for walks.
Online shizzle
83. Upload to Flickr more often.
84. Back up my photos.
85. Post Uberlist by 1/7/2011.
86. Update Uberlist monthly.
87. WIP Wednesday.
88. FO Friday.
Gotta get some stuff too…
89. Get Babychan a set of drawers.
90. Order Babychan’s baby photos.
91. Get a new helmet.
92. Buy some pants that fit.
93. Get new Teflon pans.
94. Keep my hair cute.
95. Buy Marisa a graduation present.
96. Look into a new vacuum.
97. Diamonds?!?
98. Buy LUSH shampoo.
99. A new bed?
Just for fun.
100. Finish Donkey Kong.
101. Watch all the “Rocky” movies.
102. Watch all the “Conan” movies.
103. Finish the LOTR movies.
104. Read 3 books.
Good things to eat.
105. Make a cake from scratch.
106. Eat more pancakes.
107. Donate to the food bank 3 times.
108. Eat more 7-11 nachos.
109. Make PW cinnamon rolls.
110. Make a pie.
111. Make jam at my Mom’s house.
Alternates.
112. Watch and/or read the news more.
113. Go to Las Vegas with my Mom.
114. Go to Disneyland.
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