a nice and proper rant...

dear state of virginia,

i hate you.  i hate your mosquitoes, and your stupid spiders.  i hate your east coast time, and your dumb weather.  i hate that you can't even have a proper hurricane, that would at least damage my house enough that i could justify moving to california for the next year or so.  i hate that you are annoying...  you make the grass grow fast, and the leaves fall faster.  i hate that there is nothing cool here, that i can't find somewhere else.  i hate that everyone tells me "what about the history?"  i could give two shits about the history here.  my history is tied to the missions of california, and migrant farm work.  i hate parking at the walmart, and how stupid everyone is driving down the wrong way, and throwing their little bottles of empty booze out the window.  i hate how i feel like a broken (not just sore) thumb.  i hate that you have a crab fest.  i hate the mermaids of norfolk, and the dolphins of virginia beach.  i hate how you try to be a vacation destination... i would rather go to TJ and risk the drug lords.  i hate that no one knows what pan is.  i hate that pollo loco closed and that i will have to make tamales if i want to eat them.  i hate that you don't have proper tortillas, and salsa verde doritos don't live here.

i tried to give you another chance.  really.  i came back from 110 degree weather in L.A. and was looking forward to central air.... and that is when it hit me...  i missed the things i have here (air conditioning, dishwasher, plentiful hot water) but not where i lived.  virginia, you are my penance for not appreciating where i lived everywhere before you.  virginia, i will live in the house here, and reside in you, but i will never call you home... i hate you too much.  i would rather live in pacoima.  i would take my moms house with her seventeen thousand cats, and hot water enough for one shower, if i could.  it makes me sad to say that two of my babies will be born here.  my hope for them is that this is the worst part of their lives, and that it will only get better, once we get the fuck out of here.

seriously, virginia, fall off into the ocean.

i hate you.

Victoria