in a flash!

last month was full of milestones.

it marked a halfway point of being without pat. we are starting the being legs of the downhill slope, and i believe that things can only get better.

it was the also the last month of no school for liz. for the next (hopefully) 17 years or so, she will always have to go back to school in september. i am super glad for her to be in kinder though. not only does it give us some much needed time apart, but jake isn't picked on all day, and i am able to get a lot of housework done.

speaking of housework, sometime last month i washed and folded my 200th load of laundry! there is something to be said about that! i wonder exactly how many tshirts, how many sheets and towels, and how many "little clothes" that actually is. my poor washer is getting tired. i am thinking that along with a new car, this new baby will be needing a new washer dryer. our set was used to begin with, so who knows what hell went through before it got to us...

which leads me into jewelry. ( i know... good segue, huh?) so, while i am pregnant, i can't wear regular tshirts. i can't wear anything aroung my neck that could be constricting, as it leads to a day of nausea, and overall irritability. but, i do continue to wear my necklace. with liz i had a pendant with the infant Jesus, with jake, i was never without my St. Christopher. this wee babe is different. with this one, i don't feel the nervousness, or the need to be inspired by the life of a particular saint. with this one i simply feel the need to get stuff DONE! i feel like i never have time to take for myself. my days are filled with cleaning, and my nights are filled with homework help, and getting the littles ready for bed. so... see? i am always having to DO stuff. and so, i have been wearing the necklace my husband bought me at Graceland. it is a lightning bolt with the initials TCB. it pretty much sums up the boost i need. TAKING CARE of BUSINESS- IN A FLASH!!! it makes me smile that Elvis used it for everything, and it brings me a little closer to my huz... as he IS the one that gave it to me.

we still have a bit of time before pat comes home, and I will probably finish almost three hundred loads by then. but when he comes home, i should probably take off my TCB... for at least a while, i won't want anything to happen in a flash. i want time to slow, and relish the fact that my family will be complete again.

thoughts on being preggo.

so, by now everyone knows i am pregnant (even flange), and i thought i would share some feelings on this particular pregnancy.

this itty bitty little bean inside me is making my body plum loco! and i am having a hard time dealing with it. i feel like i need twenty hours of sleep a day, and to be constantly eating. my blood sugar is known to plummet, and i am reduced to a trembling confused mess of a mom who tends to yell quite easily.

i think the best way to say it is: I am out of control.

i don't know what my body needs (water, a vitamin, nap?), i have lost control of my house (there is stuff everywhere, and it isn't getting any better), i just have no clue.

when i was pregnant with liz, pat was deployed, and i had a job, and some friends, and was fine to come home afterwork, and embroider and eat cold chicken, and watch law and order.
when i was pregnant with jake, pat had a 8-4 job, and would help out around the house, and dutifully bring me jack in the box tacos, and pepsi from taco bell.
now that i am pregnant again, pat is gone, and i have two kids and a dog counting on me to feed them, and know nobody that i would trust to leave my kids with while i get a much needed hair cut.

i miss my husabnd right now. i miss that i could go to target by myself, and that we could trade kids and look at books at the bookstore. i miss his corny jokes, and they way that if i don't want to cook he is more than happy with mexican pizza. i miss that he knows to take the kids to play at the park while i clean up after dinner, and have ten minutes of quiet to myself. i hope the rest of this deployment goes as fast as possible, and that my better half will be home soon. then i might be able to get things under control... at least before this new one comes...

son of a...

since pat is gone, and my whole life have been turned upside down, it seems like for everything i need to do, i have to take three or four extra steps. for example... to get an OB appt, i had to go to the worst doctor ever, then cry at the gate to get on base, because my town car rental didn't have stickers, and i forgot my licence at home. and now that i finally got that under control i get a letter in the mail saying that the information they have on record for us doesn't match up, and if i don't fix it, we will have to go to get doctors care back in groton. did you know that groton is in CONNECTICUT and not in virginia? yeah, me too. of all the things that i asked him to do for me, before he left, he said he did this. argh! i am highly annoyed!

freebirthing...

at the rate its taking me to get an appointment to see a doctor, just to get a referral for OB care, i should be seen sometime after the new little starts first grade.

the more and more i live here, the harder it is to like it. anybody want to trade?

i am turning a new leaf...

or at least i am going to try to. the last couple of days have been really trying for me. i find that i am just plain exhausted! i don't know if it is the pregnancy hormones, or the fact that i have been a single mom for a month, without a babysitter or break. i need to remember, that as much as i want to finish my sweater, i don't HAVE to. it has been chillin' since january... i amsure it won't mind. (although i am sooooo close. just one more sleeve!!!) i need to remember that as much as i miss pat, the kids miss him too. this deployment isn't just happening to me, i shouldn't take it personally. and if all the bathrooms aren't sparkling clean like the commercials that is okay too. as long as they don't smell, i should be okay with it. and i need to remember that as titilating as the laundry is, it is even less exciting to the kids. basically i need to take it easy. care a little less about the cleaning (but not be slobbish about it), and care a little more about having a good time. maybe the long weeks will go faster that way, and i won't miss pat so much...

today is one of those days. those days where it isn't even ten yet and already iyou wish it was time to go to sleep. thanks to our dog, i have been awake since five thirty, my kid followed me downstairs screaming, i am fighting non stop with my daughter, the coffee is cold, i have to go to the commissary, and don't have a car, there is mail that needs to be sent off, all of the bathrooms need cleaning, my elbow hurts, and even though i am eating a tad bit better i am still managing to gain weight!

on top of all of that, it feels like me and the kids are on our own little island. just us. and there is nothing here. no awesome waterfalls to swim in, no dharma to keep us mystified. just a tree. the island fever i had living in hawaii has nothing on what i am feeling right now. if it wasn't for the kids i would be depressed and sleeping, but now i am just mad and tired. i need a vacation.

i already posted this one...

but i thought i would put it up here. i saw one of the ladies at the commissary doing this dance... in the aisle way... where people come in... i miss connecticut.

it is the day i don't like most. laundry day. i actually put it off one day because yesterday was really hot, and our AC is on the fritz. but yeah... so i started laundry, went to the NEX and commissary, yelled at my kids while sweating, and managed to miss the maintenance guy. put on top of that i washed pat's clothes and put them away. it sucks because now he is really gone. and he won't be back to make more laundry or yell at the kids, or curse the wretched weather with me for weeks and weeks. i am not super sad because he is still alive, and i AM able to receive email (although i never do) but i am just kind of bummed out. if he was home i probably would've run away tonight to target, and sonic. oh well.

tomorrow i am off to college to have a chat with a counseler and discuss my options for applying to their nursing program. wish me luck!

it isn't that i don't like holidays...

its just that they never feel like holidays anymore. especially today. pat is gone, and it is just me and the kids. so i made some faux barbecue chicken in the george foreman, and we ate some jelly beans. i figured since pat will be home next weekend, what is the harm in postponing easter a bit. plus i can go to target tomorrow, and get a bunch of stuff half price.

i guess it is just that i am a bit tired, and there is still so much to be done before the house is fully unpacked. and on top of that we are finally getting over these colds we got, and are just dealing with allergies. a bit of a funk is all...

i just don't really want to think about what it is like next month when pat deploys. i hope i make some friends fast...

or maybe some come out to visit me...

so that navy thing...

it seems that the navy, in all its wisdom, has decided to move us to Virginia, and keep us there. we found out friday, and i am finally getting over the shock. it isn't too bad now that i give it a chance. yesterday i went to borders and got a book about Virginia. it looks BEEEEYOOOO-TIFUL. it looks like there is a lot of stuff to do, and there will be a Costco near by! so, we are still moving in a week and a half (only to Virginia) me and the kids are still going to L.A. for the month of March, and everything is going to be O.K.

the navy

the navy has managed to throw a car going 60 miles an hour in reverse. needless to say the transmission is now shit.

holding... holding....

you know when you are having a baby, and they tell you "PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!... okay now hold it! DON'T push!"

and you know how much that sucks, because all you want to do is push, and they are telling you not to, and it is just awful? weeeeeellllll the navy just told us to stop pushing. to hold it. but instead of having one baby trying to come out, there is a whole household involved. arrrgh!

Why Key Key!

Thank you Sarah.

It seems to me that I haven’t yet announced that the Stevenson family is going to be moving again.

‘What?!? Didn’t you just move to Groton in May?!?” you might ask.

Yes, we did. And in February we are going to move again. From the cold and dismal Connecticut to the sunny shores of Hawaii… by way of L.A. of course. I will have the two kids, and meet Pat there. I think it will be a very fun and stressful move, but all will be okay.

And for anyone who is saying, “Moving to Hawai’i! man they are lucky!”, I just want you to know that although we will be living in one of the most beautiful places on earth, we also will be losing Pat for huge chunks of time. You win some, you lose some… huh?